Start Anew....

As I sit here and think about this past year there is so much that has happened and although there is a reason for it all and a lesson at every step I wonder if it really needed to go down the way it did. This is not about regrets or resolutions because I don't resolve to do things I just do them, most of the time unplanned so this is just thought. My process. I guess it's why I write although this year if I do have one regret it's that I did not master the pen and paper as I would have liked to. Here I am though and that will be resolved, for lack of a better word. I digress. So much has happened this year to me, for me and against me and I must say I am grateful that I have not had the mordacity to ask "why me"?
I believe mostly because there are many going thru worse things with their heads held high and there for so shall I ( ooooh a rhyme :) ) and also because with the hard times have come many blessings. Besides I will not be brought down by worldly things God has his eye on me and has given me fortitude thru this so who am I to begrudge such a gift. Dialysis is at times easy at times hard so I ride. Sometimes I look at the process, the needles and the meds and become a bit disillusioned as to how far my battle may be although I know I am ready and able to fight it. I have great reasons to win as well and I will. One day I will be sitting here writing about way back when and this will be a distant lesson full of ups and downs as all of life is.
For now I look forward to this new year. Family, friends, love, circumstance and hurdles. The calm waters and smooth sailing will prevail during this up coming year and I will see that it is so for myself as well as All of the ones I love.
Here's to a new year of all that makes you smile and scream for joy and ice cream!!!!!

Be blessed!!


- BlooWriter

The Beginning

I'm sorting out life
It's images are strewn on the table in my head
Im prepared I have bought the tags
The folders that will make my life neat
Are now color coded
Red... Blue for the sadness that does not exist
A rainbow of happiness can now await me
If I but take that step
And I miss you
Like the desert does rain
You showered me with possibility
And I opened myself to love
Again.....


- BlooWriter

Today.....

Today was made to explore the regions of my psyche

That I have not explored before

My senses

In various ways will awaken

That it may transfer to my work in one way or the other

Free

Write

Without thought

Let the waters of my mind melt the obstacles like summer rain

No process

My process

Excess of words

Create beauty and horror simultaneously

Bring it to the page, flowers to a dieing grave

Sleep with my rage

Give the world a taste of me

I bring peace to the old

Turmoil to the young

Open fully without regard

To leave a piece of me behind

I poeticize

Criticize the ways

of stress and strife

It’s what I do…

And We Love.....Just like that.....

I love him
yes... I always did and I
will continue to do so
dispite the distance
at times
when he can't be
near me
I seep into my dreams of
him
in my shell
I keep
him
daily I breathe his name
simply one word at a time I explore his mind
and I am blind
to all else when I see me through his eyes...

He
loves me I know
when his shaddow passes
over my bed
my spirit in sleep I feel
him come
levitate my soul
and I rest in his heart
bent to fit perfectly in
his every crevice
designed for his imperfections.....

Complicated......

Complications of life are what I'm made of
I make the air I breathe into carbon
monoxide
poisoned and the water I drink seeps from
one end to the other of me
not without it's difficult travel
through mountains of sharp small
painful turns
curves trapped in un-seeming forms
a war within my cells
and the pretty smile of the shell above
crack the spine
truth lies beneath
the glass heart
and broken wings
flying a million miles
to redemption....

... AS I SIT HERE THINKING ABOUT MY LIFE... THE BIGGEST LESSON I'VE LEARNED IS....

The truth is that this situation in my life now has prompted me to think of all the things we deem important in this life, which in truth in the grand scheme of things are of no consequence but what we apply to them.

it has made me think of the petty battles, the comical statements and what we value in this life.

the greatest lesson I have learned is that nothing is permanent, NOTHING. Not your anger, not your happpiness, not your illussions or dis of for it is all a dream.

My greatest question is do you have honest and real love

do you treat others as you'd have it

are you happy dieing today certain that you have been who you were meant to be

HAVE YOU COMPLETED YOUR MISSION??



WHY ARE YOU HERE...CAN YOU SAY YOU FOUND AND DONE THAT?



My life has changed for a reason...

have i loved? Yes,,, profoundly

AND NOW I WILL LOVE BETTER AND LONGER



Have I treated others as I'd have it always?

NO

BUT I INTEND TO GIVE IT MY ALL ONE DAY OF MY LIFE LEFT AT A TIME



Am I happy dieing today knowing that you have been who you were meant to be

YES!!

I HAVE BEEN ME AND THOSE WHO KNOW ME KNOW THIS

I have never been anyone but who i am to anyone I have been the best me for the 40 years this life has afforded me

I SHALL BE SUPER ME FOR THE NEXT 40!



I WILL WALK WITH THIS LESSON UNTIL WE HAVE BECOME FAMILY, LOVERS...BEST FRIENDS.

I WILL KNOW IT AS IT KNOWS ME AND WHEN WE NO LONGER NEED EACHOTHER IT WILL BE TAKEN FROM ME AND MY FLIGHT WILL BE

ETERNITY

A LESSON FOR ALL TO SEE

HOW FRIVOLOUSLY WE TREAT OUR SPIRITS DAILY

I WILL BE THE WRITTEN WORD

THE SPEECH YOU PREACH

AND SAY AMEN TO

IN MY HEALTH AFTER MY ILLNESS I WILL TEACH YOU HOW

TO LIVE



I AM HERE

AS A LIGHT IN YOUR DARKNES

I AM NOT THEE LIGHT I AM ONE LIGHT

THE ONE GIVEN TO YOU TO SEE BY

AND IN THIS WEAKNESS I NOW FEEL

I SHALL MAKE YOU STRONG

AND YOU ARE GRATEFUL NOT TO BE ME?

I AM GRATEFUL NOT TO BE YOU

FOR WHAT YOU MAY DEEM MY CURSE IS MY VISION

AND BY GOD I SEE...

The value of Love & Friendship....

                              
                            It has come home to me today the thought of the value which love and frendship merit. I have learned the truth of both during these past weeks of being ill. Of course we never trully know everything I doubt we ever do but we do become more knowledgeable during the most difficult of our experiences, and so i have. I am lucky. I have a large loving family and i have friends that though are few are always there when times get tough. I want to take this moment and this blog to thank all of them. My children, mother, brothers, cousins, friends and  my very bestest  friend. I love you all and I thank you for walking with me through this difficult path. You are all my strength and my will to live and fight resides in you all.

THANK YOU & I LOVE YOU

The Dialysis girl....

The Chair

Here I am dialyzing again. So how is the world out there? I assume as it is when you have any illness be it cancer, diabetes or aids. It moves and sways, travels and breaths. And it doesn't stop because of me or anyone of us in any dilemma. And still I sit here not with any feeling of pity for me that is not what this is about. There is something I'm here to learn though I have no clarity into it now. I will learn it. My blood gets renewed here. They cleans me here. And were it not so I might not be here. Blessings abound. I am lucky to be born at this age for 30 years ago the possibility of my mechanical kidney might not exist and neither might my life.

We Must look at the Blessings...

- BlooWriter

Location:E Front St,Red Bank,United States

The Patch...dealing with Dialysis.....

                             I must say I haven't blogged for a few out of lazyness and life. things have been happening that everyone who loves me and most who know me have had a first row seat into. The truth is i have been pretty frightened for the past few weeks about where i am and where i am going and though my journal has witnessed much of my fear, my blog hasn't. So...

FOR THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW....
1. I recently found out i have kidney desease
2. I'm trying to find out what disabled really means cause as far as the world is concerned that's what i now am.
3. I'm still trying to be the backbone of my family, the hardass mom who can carry the world alone and it's getting old.
4. I am tring to get used to being hooked up to a machine 3 days a week.

So those are just a few of the drama induced issues i am trying to deal with right now. It is hard yes, and alone even harder though i am circled by people who really love me and i am forever grateful. Still....

The patch that covers my dialysis hook up on my right breast always reminds me of the fight i must now battle. I have been afraid but never enough to give up. I am here to stay and it's not solely out of faith but belief. I have come here for a purpose.... tis not achieved yet, ask me again in 40 years.

Death can not take you until you give it permission
It's wait unless God puts his foot down
is long with me
I will look at you carefully
as you will no doubt look at me
And still
I will STAND.....

RaDIcaL

I am the feminist

complete with iron bra and cannon

aimed at the weakness of lost women

I am trying to find



Feminist

woman

proud to be feminine

these curves don’t lie

I express it

with every step

words of love I use

to uplift my women



equal? yes

rights?

the right to be you

ok with whatever that version that is

to you



define it!

standing on my own two feet

allowing him to hold my hand

while I stand

against the storm

the weapon in my hand to preserve him



educate the masses

populate the wordless

sew your wings on

even with my own bleeding hands

that you may fly higher than I



feminist movements

were never about me

back then

we got the vote

when do we make the change?





handing us peanuts

like you do the Aids patients

cause the money ain’t in the cure

it’s in the medicine

and we take a sip

with every trick

thinking…

yea, we’re getting somewhere

as we sew them suits for a dollar an hour

where is the power

when we as women turn out the lights

when we see our women rising higher



its not about burning bras

its about building ladders

put the first step down, daughter

what you build will take us farther

than where you may stand

now

in the government line

for cheese with no wine

climb

and I wont hold you down but help you rise

up

up

up



you never fall

when you strive…

I WILL PROTECT...

I will protect you from me

and all the anger I could be

come with me so I can

I will protect who i am

my heart

full of splinters

from what you have already done to me

when i was not looking



I will protect

who i want to be

the free little girl

dancing in the wind

by the trees where you thought you'd rape my thoughts from me

in a corner i sat recuperating my wounds

cascade of leaves

cacoon

to become this butterfly with stingers you now see

my colors muted by obscurity

but don't be fooled by me

i am a viper

my fangs are free

bleeding you profusely

but

i will protect my solidarity

my ability

to be

honest

a damn hard ass process

created by adversity



I will protect my seed

increase my visibility

I observe you coming

I am their breeze

the wings in them i have created

I will see them free

I will protect the he's

and the she

born form me

my destiny to be the alchemist



I will protect my sensitive dreams

your infection will not reach me

my shield is my reality

I will protect my voice

as it reaches, breaks down barriers

swishes in my mouth like water

spills on your soul like flowers

I will protect who i want to be

i am half way there

walk with me

engage in this complexity

of what it is to be me



I will protect my honesty

and serve it to you like rice and beans

everyone needs a hearty meal of me

once in a while

when they believe

they superseded

unheeded

the advice of where you raised up

your head full of lead

ill conceived achievements

be human

and i will protect you

as if you were me

through me

because you were made

from blood and bone

and to dust you will return

this ain't nothing but a chicken bone on gods plate

he ate the meat

you're going to the dog

didn't you know



I won't protect you from my words

this is my song

the pen is where i belong

but if you want

I will bring you along

be strong

because I will not

protect you from truth



la la la la la la la la I have to keep writing

la la la la la la la free writing time can't stop la la la la la

love being here and doing this la la la la yea I'm getting tired I kinda wanna stop now

and read what I wrote I love sharing who understand what I'm about la la la la la how long will this go on

lets see if I will fill this page too la la la la my foot hurts and i just took extra time to write the S oh man come on now! la la la la la

crazy ain't it? but I'm not giving up.

OUR HOUR...

hi, how are you


good i good lover how are you

dreaming of you she said

can you come over today

you know i cant lover.. i must go home today

one hour.. i need you, just one hour why cant you give me that tonight

i give you all you want of me he says but just not tonight

when i want you most .. she says

you know how i get when i need you

hungry



one hour lover..come to me wont you?

you say one hour but you know it is

never so with us

we can talk she whispers

talk.. he says

is never enough with us

id want to make love

and making love to you

is never an hour long thing

the feel of you sends me crazy

you know this



will you come to me then...

yes

i will come, if you tell me why I can't deny you

because there is fire here and you are my water.. she says

one hour



opening the door he stands there his eyes hell fire

shirt already half open just from the ride in the car

he knew he had to be somewhat ready for her even as he got in the car

he knew how they did when they got together

everything flew off before their eyes even adjusted to each others bodies

she will rip my shit if im not careful

my little lioness

almost as hard as i rip her pussy apart when I'm tasting her

how can this shit be so fucking strong..he thinks standing there

the night is misty thunder rumbles

just like they will make the bed rumble if they even get there

the last time the living room furniture took the beating

the rain

its coming and it will fall hard

today was a crazy night to come see her

she knew when to draw him here

knew he could never say no



open the door for me baby he said under his breath

an hour baby

my red woman

needs me

wants me

the fever is taking me already

but she will make me last

an hour will never do



opening the door i heard you lover

you came

you will cum twice at least before you leave

standing by the door strong

eyes

piercing

dark

love lust filled eyes

he wants me

wet for him

ready



she wore the perfect outfit to feed his eyes

negligee lack of fabric

just above her ass cheeks the way he likes its

almost time to walk away

that he can see her hips sway

he could never take it

seeing her ass flow before his eyes like entrancing

passion took over him

hard before he crossed the thresh hold



glancing back as she walks away

catching his rapid breath

she almost gets away

his hand circling her waist

where you going eh

yes he's hard as stone tongue

licking her neck

when her moan escapes

slip

her hand

grabs

his... ahhh manhood

thick

promise of a good

long hour of passion and pain



turn

he groans

cupping her to him

you fit me reds

i wan you full of me

no panties between his traveling fingers

as she clears the fabric that holds him

thick hotheaded kisses

suck him in



take me to bed

baby

show me your love

i love you..

no.. show me

and he lifts her thighs to surround him

sucking the surface of her heated skin



open the door of my bedroom

lay me on you like warm sheets

he opens her

finger on discovery mode

blind to time and space

pull u to me

taste me

ohhh

you do

and i feel your tongue run circles around my now numb mind

and throbbing clit

sounds like a hungry beast

moans.. he plays my body like a flute

melodies leave my soul

before he enters me



open me

as he lifts

the hips that bind me and enters me

screams ripped from me

he says my name

over

and

over again

with each heated thrust

ohhh how he loves me....

the sweetness of his hips on grind mode

lips encircled around brown raised nipples



no release is worth stopping this...

Wanting...

He wants me
With all his insecurity about where it will lie
He still aches when he sees me
The dire flame I thought had died
Still resides within those eyes

I keep him suspended between love
And lust
There's touch
Never akin to skin on skin
The mind is a powerful thing
I intend to ascend thru the very veins
Of my lover
Spin him with the silken web between my legs

You
Who proffeses to be on control
That was until I swallowed you whole
And the gutteral moans became yours
In my ears you groaned
Damn mami...
For your mind couldn't concieve
what I could achieve
when I decided to take roads traveled but never mapped and branded
within the mind of the
one
who desires but to watch
you shake
and quake
at the very thought of the passage she will take

But you know
Boi
How to flip it
And contain me
A bee in your jar of honey
Praise me with your tongue
As I gush eternally
In utter bliss
Down your throat I disolve
I become yours
You become mine
My scent from your lips
Pours like wine
One taste from two
Perfume designed by the godess of truth
We were meant to blend like this
Me and you


- BlooWriter

Despised...

Love cornered me today. Against my full clogged heart it pressed asking me. Is this no longer my home, am I not supposed to be in there?
I had no answer for the space was taken by stones
You can see the jagged scratches within
Thru the pin pricks of light
The infected wounds
Stench of dieing meat

Love confronted me today
It's pristine red hands full of my hearts blood
It spoke of disillusions as if it knew
My pain
Lived in my ragged skin
Giving me reasons to love again
Screaming
You have become a shadow of me

It repetitiously said
Did u not say you were blessed
For the love that you had
The old love has injured you
Your pained
And lavished
You felt it's caresses in dreams
But never reality
And the heart is to blame?

Love!
Why do u hound me
Bind me to you
Your softness offends the pain
Chase me in circles
Bring me back to hell again
Where your beauty against the horror can almost convince me
Once again
That your bright smile is not fangs
In disguise

Tell the truth love
You despise me.



- BlooWriter

WEEP

have you ever seen a body weep

really stood to watch the pain wreak it

seen it tremble

with sorrow

that is how my body weeps tonight

for you

for us

what we were

and will never be

what you gave away and what I could never see

was never mine



have you ever seen a body weep

as a soldier that must lay down her weapons does

after fighting the longest battle

to see no one fighting beside her

her body waving in the wind as so many leaves

dancing with pain

dissolving in melancholy

as she delivers her last breath



have you ever seen a body weep

when all it has lived for has been taken

and only loneliness remains

that is how my body weeps tonight

for you

for us

for me…

A WEEKEND OF LEARNING...

               
             This weekend a friend came to visit. I have always loved meeing new people and I loved meeting her. She is down to earth, real and already a good friend. Somehow i don't think her weekend went as well as it should have. I was there and had it been my weekend i would have been much angrier than she displayed for she had every reason to be disappointed at the way things went, however she took the high road. She was strong and shook it off and had a great time regardless. She was a real trooper and taught me a thing or two about independence and being there when you say you will. I was proud to meet you miss G. and look forward to further visits.

SOMEONE...

I want someone to know me
but not in the sense everyone thinks they do

who gives a fuck what my favorite color is

what I like to do on sunny days

where I like to spend it

or with who

what size pants I wear

do I like t-shirts or dresses

as if these were grave confessions



I want someone who knows my blood

the way it runs

in which direction my guts lay

where my bones bend

from the inside out and vice versa

someone who can see thru my pretence and the veil of my existence

the persistence to make them see something that is not there

hell, even the reasons for the crabbiness during my period



I want someone who can spell my name backwards and forwards

and actually love the sound of it on the days when I’m a real asshole to them and the world

I want someone who is unafraid to travel to the pits of my psyche

and help me grow flowers on the dead soil of my mind

I want someone who can scream at me in lyrics when I’m wrong

so I can turn it into a country song

later on



I want someone who will bathe my feet as if Jesus were watching in approval from the next room

remembering how loving it felt when he had it done to him

I want someone who will be quiet thru my noise

who’s noise can blend with mine and when necessary overcome it

I want someone who knows the cracks in my soul

and becomes the mortar to make them less so



someone who knows the sway of my crooked spine from bearing the seed that may not be his

kissing it anyways with reverence

who travels the dark circles of my sleepless eyes and sees pools of beauty and bliss

someone who caresses my imperfections as if the word had been made for the most beautiful parts of a woman’s body



I want someone who will carve the happiness out of me

as Michelangelo did his David

I want someone to know me

like God knows his son and the book he inspired

the one who will know tears are coming

and will shower me with his own so I don’t realize I’m shedding mine



I want someone who will carry me thru the puddles of life

so that I may lay my coat down

that his feet may not know the cold rain

who lays the palms of his hands not on my shoulders

but my lower back

that he may push me forward when I am most resistant



I want someone who will ingest my salty jokes as if they were made of candy

repeating them to others as a stenograph in a trial

someone who will dance with me when the music is over and creates sounds to keep us bound

someone who believes in me as if I were he and had no choice but to see us as one entity

the one who will say I love you with his hands because to say the words always seem scattered and small without his touch to compliment it



that is what I want for me

I will be the same

for the beloved someone who really sees me

Wordsmith...

The tongue is the punishment of the body
It always seems to get the mind unraveled
Reverberating and spewing like an overflowing toilet
All the shit is left for you to dry up after
It becomes the bane of your existence
The words you utter fill you like a bad meal
Follow you as a man you refused to go out with
A speech impediment of the psyche
You stutter stutter just like the song says
Some times the tongue aims true thru the false prophets
Shatters misconceptions and life challenges
Irritates like a rash, a bad habbit
The tongue
Never lonely
It's carcophony of words produced by the eager mind roll around it
An astounding deck of cards thrown by the talented player
The poker game
If you are willing
Has started.

- BlooWriter

To be a woman...

Do you see me?

Standing here, look clearly

I am what it is to be a woman

Thanks to her

I am not your definition

I am not what he made me



Just thinking of what it is to be a woman makes me think

Of all the women in my life,

Those I admire who have come so far in this life

Despite circumstances and much strife



There are no lyrics here

No poems or quips, soliloquies

There is only strength in the name of what would make any man weak



She first arrived in 78 a mother, alone to change her life

Left those she loved behind to bring them at another time

Across oceans she floated

Thru the sky she flew with fear in her gut

But you would never know it though her mission was rough

Illegal woman, no papers just pretence

Face of iron, will of steel

The woman I admire most lives in here



She is my mother

Alone she arrived leaving her children far behind

To build a life no man would provide



Born of goddess blood

Dominican to the bone

If bitch had been a name she

Would have made it her own



From state to state and factory to factory she roamed

Pushing suits by the hour

To acquire enough money to bring us home

That’s a fucking woman

Not the bullshit you see now,

Afraid to do real work

Don’t want to mess up that hair or have sweat on your brow



You want a renaissance woman

Ill introduce you to my mother

No man can measure, undermine or over power

Still beautiful, more elegant than any flower



Fierce as a tigress

Created her own progress

No one gave her the bacon, she brought it home

And made sure she supplied it

For the ones she bred and in her tired state

Made sure we never went to bed without it



Fear need not apply here

Don’t pity her; she’s liable to laugh at you

Conditioned by lack of fathers

She can drink you under the table, make dinner

And yes beat the hell out of a motherfucker



To us she was more than mother

She was father

Gave us love, discipline

Protected us thru failure like no other

Not a sperm donor

She’s a provider

A miracle maker

The life supplier

Bringing up a doctor, a roughneck

And this writer



You want to ask me

The definition of woman

I’m just an apprentice

I can give you her number

You can call her.

It's ALL about the SHOES!!

For as long as I can remember It has been about the shoes. Shoes and bags. Well for as long as I can remember as an adult with the ability to buy her own shoes. As a child growing up in Washington heights with a single working mother shoes were not the shit. Furniture,that was mami's thing. To this day I don't know how a single mother of three had the ability or money to switch furniture as often as my mom did. We would go to school and come home to see brand new furniture in the house. Thank goodness none of us were blind cause shit!! Hellen Keller would have been screwed! We would have had more bruises than the ones she put on us herself. Anyhow back to shoes. Mom dressed well of course but brands weren't her thing so that wasn't a lesson I learned until made my own money and was single myself. Until then my greatest love ( still is) had been books, my books however had always been free. I had been a library lover all my youth. Still am except now I buy my own libros and treasure them as I do my children, afterall every writer should. My shoe affair began a few years ago with a pair of sling backs from Macys at a whopping 100.00 which for me was a million dollars but yes I got them on sale and that was the hook! I never thought I could get such good shoes at such good prices. Now about 80 pair of shoes later I am a regular shoe diva. These are the latest which I got in two colors. And bags? Let's not even go there now. Suffice it to say 50+ would cover it. I recently got my first coach bag and I'm scurred! Eeek! Not that as long as I can afford it it would ever change hee hee....


BlooWriter

Ghetto Factor...

Ghetto

Is there a place fir the ghetto in me when I get angry?

Yes!
Do I always use it.

No.

But is there a place and a people for it
Certainly.
There are people who respond to nothing but ghetto
There are those who can't communicate any other way. I have my ghetto moments and it's usually with those who are much more "ghetto" than I.

I have an undetermined amount of anger in me. The rictor scale is still building numbers to get where I am and although I taper it there are moments when it takes all of me and converts me into a being that I choose not to control.
Of course depending on place and situation.

White people have been conditioned to deal with anger calmly but that calm is hidden rage which can easily develop into alcoholism, drug abuse or keeping your neighbor in the basement for twenty years.
The ghetto factor is something expressed imediately and released in rage then moved on. You blow up, curse it out, bring the smack down and let go.

Should we perhaps deal with it differently for the sake of developing into better people? Yes, maybe.
But at least for me there will always be that stupid, low down dirty motherfuckin trick that will make me loose it. Point blank.

Yes. I am quite articulate when I choose to be but within me the ghetto factor will always be. Not because I need it to be but because I want it that way


- BlooWriter

WHITE COTTON PANTIES...

What greater prize

Can I ask for between these thighs 

Than my pretty pretty flower 

Makes you hard
Beg, steal 

Rub my feet for hours 

You think a fine ass man is a pussy magnet 

Is that what pulls the cooch 

Well pussy hair pulls tug boats baby 

Ain’t that the fuckin truth 

We all know Peter piper would have been better off 

Pickin pussies than peppers 

After-all Mary was quite content
Having a little clam 

Just like my man 

White cotton panties
that’s what he likes 

What bug out his eyes
Along with the cream that comes down my thighs 

when they shift along my ass 

Half on my round cheeks 

Half between the crack 

Its all about that hairy cherry Freddy 

And all the shit it makes you do 

I tell you if that chocha spoke 

You'd be listening like an apostle 

And preaching for it too 

You'd lie for it
die for it 

Pay out the ass if its new
And you haven’t tried it 

It’s the type of trap
That can carry the clap 

When you’d rather it clap around you 

The kind of shit that can make a nigga spit 

Even sing a lyric or two 

That little up and downs song only he can sing 

Red bull got nothin on these wings 

Exercise it ladies 

Keigle keeps it tight 

Hell if we work that shit right 

You'll be cummin every night.

March Madness!!

Ok let's get it straight people. I understand it's warm out and we all have

CABIN FEVER... But put some fuckin clothes on!!
There is no reason to be out actin a fool with no shirt on or your ass hangin out just because the powers that be saw fit to give us a little sun.

If you are almost naked now WTF are you going to do when the heat really sets in?! And then you wonder when comments come your way.

DRESS AS YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE SEEN!!
If you do not want to be approached and spoken to as a street walker, do not portray one. Don't give me that he should see me for my mind and they shouldn't assume shit. You and I both know he's not looking at your assumption when he first sees you, he's looking at your ass and breasts which are out for display.

NO! I am not saying he has a right to touch and yes you have a right to dress as you please but PLEASE do not insult my intelligence with your he doesn't respect me complaints. DELETE!

If you do not show, there is no show.

As for the fellas who can't wait to get their pecks out for the ladies in heat...
SAVE IT for the beach when the weather is consistent. As of now it will not be warm tomorrow. It will be March day as it is today so get a fuckin grip and get dressed while you're all at it.

Tis all

I'm here Monday thru Friday and twice on Sundays!
Try the veal


- BlooWriter

Rap it up!

Why is it that most rap seems to sound the same these days?
I long for the days of Tupac when words made sence.

Rapper? He was more than this. Much more. That is one of his lesser names. To me that name overshaddows who he was.

Poet! Now that's more like it because that's what he was and still is. That's why his work lives on. Icons come in all forms. It's based on the impression they make upon those who choose to listen. Nowadays we get to fuck all the girls in the world and call it music.

Really?


- BlooWriter

TODAY....

Today was made to explore the regions of my psyche
That I have not explored before
My senses
In various ways will awaken
That it may transfer to my work in one way or the other
Free
Write
Without thought
Let the waters of my mind melt the obstacles like summer rain
No process
Create beauty and horror simultaneously
Bring it to the page, flowers to a dieing grave
Sleep with my rage
Give the world a taste of me
I bring peace to the old
Turmoil to the young
Open fully without regard
To leave a piece of me behind
I poeticize
It’s what I do…

THE WRITER...

The writer in me
Beckons
To explain her feelings
To be the divulger of secrets
And dreams to be had

I have become the story teller
With many words
A word weaver of letters
Designing meaning
And sometimes failing
Eager to express my mantra

The poet can write quickly
Her feelings lay raw
Disposed of words
Thrown openly
Deciphered wrong
By the few who have been
Allowed to read them

Let’s try this again…

A hint of Peace...

Today is the first day after a week of work that I get to go home at a reasonable time. Don't get me wrong I love my job not everyone gets to have fun with kids for a living and I do so I am blessed in that regard. Still thirteen hours of any job for three days straight is enough to put anyone under the rug. So here I am looking forward to going home by five so I may have perhaps a little time with my own princess who waits for me endlessly everyday, respecting the work I do for she knows it's her bread and butter as well. And perhaps even a little dare I say it!? Me time! A movie? Maybe a lil conversation with an interesting adult for a change?
I must say I love being a nanny for my 9 to 5, when it is nine to five and even when it isn't. Hell I'm working and I get to have a blast doing it! Plus it gives me so much material for my writing it's ludacris. Children say and do the most bugged out things and they love me cause I'm just as buggy. Not everyone can do what I do and I do it with flair!
But just for today a lil rest is in order.


- BlooWriter

Thinking Love...

"How absurd and delicious it is to be in love with someone younger than yourself, everybody should try it."

Barbara Pym






I've been thinking lately alot about relationships. The kind you have with a person you're thinking of really getting involved with. You know, the love kind. I've been wondering lately what it all really means. I have so many friends involved in this heads or tails game that I hardly know what to make of it or if I'd really ever want it. All I hear is how these adventures are going wrong. Who's doing what to mess up what. Anyhow. My thoughts travel endlessly thru the caverns of this maze called love or even intention to love. When you first contemplate it after you have met the person you think you want to give thee chance to you imagine all sorts of possibilities

Is he the one?
Will he be the one with enough brains to know what he has?
Is this the one who will finally value and treat me right?

So many questions and every answer you must take a chance with in order to find out. Every answer you must take the step with that certain someone and see if it even works out.

What makes the chance worth taking? And once you have taken it I guess is a whole different ball of wax. Right? So here we stand, together in this same conundrum for I believe it's the same for our male counterparts.

I have no answers. I only know I love deeply when I do. I know that I give way more than I should at times and have gotten taken advantage of because of it in the past. I know that I am willing to show love and affection dispite some past horrors.

Most of all I know I am stronger now. I have learned. Survived. And I will continue to do so because in a world with so much sorrow

I AM LOVE.


- BlooWriter

Letters to my gurlz...

Everyone knows I love to write. It's what I do. And although I love my Dell my hands must graze pen and paper continuously. There is nothing like constructing a work of art with your very own hands. I do this in various forms, those of which you see here and those you don't. Each week I try to write notes to my girls. My close circle of women who I love dearly. I buy note cards and send them to remind them how happy I am that they're part of me. My list is about to grow with some recent ladies that I have come to treasure. Welcome to my new ladies and may our circle continue to grow!!


- BlooWriter

Who told YOU I'm not Black?!

Who told YOU I’m not Black?!

Who told you I’m not black?

Let me bring you back

A time when the fields of my land

Were plowed with love

The skin of our back kissed by the sun

Not whips or straps

Have you forgotten the melanin in your skin

Runs bone deep

Mirate el negro detras de el oido

That black line you carry 

Runs down from your belly button

Down like an arrow

Signs you have chosen to elude

Brought forth the future colors of the rainbow Moreno

Mulato

Indigeno

Negro

Did you forget your name Manuel?

Oh! I forgot, you’re Manny

A-rod thru your people

Let me mix you like café con leche

Lighten them eyes boo

They cant really see you

But shit! You’re light

So we’ll claim you

Without giving a fuck that you annihilate your roots

With light and lovely

If you can afford  it

Bleach too

Except when its time to call la viejita

That use to cook for you

When you were snot nosed and naked en el sibao

At about two

Forgotten? No, that’s just you

When you started making the paper dude

And traded the tu for llu

The beauty of the land, the people

Who made you look like you do

YES! The stories of kings are true

NO! OUR ANCESTORS DID NOT come from zoo’s

It cant be hidden by your eyes of blue

Nigga it’s because of the love of black dick

That you got those too

When them Spanish peeps came

To the islands 

to cruise and abuse

Impregnating our queens in sets of two

You know how they do

that black ass was only good for interludes

In the dark

When you hit it from the back it aint black, just  phat ha!

You’ve seen it too

We cant change your color

True

But we can breed it out of you

Blend you and change you

Until there’s nothing you can do

But submit and believe

You’re one of us now

The big lips, kinky hair

And luscious bodies have now been reduced

A memory

Secret beat

You still hear it, sweet

In your bones that music never leaves

Your mother is Africa

It hears you speak

When it ends

Its where we plant our feet

It’s where we started

From where we departed

Blended by nations

Embedded throughout all of creation

No matter your station in life

Despite the strife

Its between these thighs

They came to reside

Before you try 

To cast us aside

Let me bring you back, to when you didn’t know that

Let me ask you one more time

WHO TOLD YOU I’M NOT BLACK!!

The Completion...

I think I have finished the editing of this blog. I think I like the way it's coming along but i would love some opinions. If you got one... hit me!!

Heart Strings

My heart no longer stops
It slows
Beats steady
As strong as the love u gave to me
It's not what kept me alive
It was you
What I wanted to believe in
Was true
I can never imagine living without you
Until you force me too

The love is steady now
Calm as an ocean breeze
Inside me
Volatile when you mix it
With disappearances and good byes
And then I'm there
In fear again
Of never being steady
Happy
In love
Alone....