As I sit here and think about this past year there is so much that has happened and although there is a reason for it all and a lesson at every step I wonder if it really needed to go down the way it did. This is not about regrets or resolutions because I don't resolve to do things I just do them, most of the time unplanned so this is just thought. My process. I guess it's why I write although this year if I do have one regret it's that I did not master the pen and paper as I would have liked to. Here I am though and that will be resolved, for lack of a better word. I digress. So much has happened this year to me, for me and against me and I must say I am grateful that I have not had the mordacity to ask "why me"?
I believe mostly because there are many going thru worse things with their heads held high and there for so shall I ( ooooh a rhyme :) ) and also because with the hard times have come many blessings. Besides I will not be brought down by worldly things God has his eye on me and has given me fortitude thru this so who am I to begrudge such a gift. Dialysis is at times easy at times hard so I ride. Sometimes I look at the process, the needles and the meds and become a bit disillusioned as to how far my battle may be although I know I am ready and able to fight it. I have great reasons to win as well and I will. One day I will be sitting here writing about way back when and this will be a distant lesson full of ups and downs as all of life is.
For now I look forward to this new year. Family, friends, love, circumstance and hurdles. The calm waters and smooth sailing will prevail during this up coming year and I will see that it is so for myself as well as All of the ones I love.
Here's to a new year of all that makes you smile and scream for joy and ice cream!!!!!