What do you want, when you have all you ever Wanted?

I want forever
An impossible hue of never
Gonna happen
I'm in love with never loosing
Accepting only what can be changed
Made better, returned to sender 
Infatuated with the miracle man
He makes all my dreams come true with a flick
And a cue without a clue as to what I may say
Yes to
I am a definite fool for his word
It always rings true 
Crystal clear bell
Ding ding 
Breaking a spell he never cast 
Reality is where he dwells
Building cascading shells I climb into the sunshine
Love breathes through the vines
Of what I have now become 
Sanguine, stealth and refined
And so
We are entwined
Lover mine

 

The Race is On!

I love when people tell me that racism is dead. When someone tells me this I usually shrug it off and neatly place them in the ignorant pile of my conscienceless. I have learned that some people can't be changed and neither can their minds, especially if they have never experienced the sting of being ostracized. It is beyond me that every Caucasian person you come across believes there is no racism in the USA, and wholeheartedly at that! They truly and honestly believe its over, but what can you expect when they have never been rejected on the base of race,color or creed. I digress. What brought me to this subject was not a racist white person, they're very pc about the things they say. Some might be racist but stupid they are not. This ignorance hit me harder because it came from a Latina, a Puerto Rican woman. Someone I never expected to hear such nonsense from since we are all minorities. Don't fool yourselves, we are ALL minorities. I don't care if you're African , European, Latino or Asian. We all came from somewhere so unless your name is he who flies like the eagle I don't want to hear it. Back to the reason for my blog.
To set the scene I must let you know that my profession is as a nanny. I have done it for over 20 years now helping raise countless children. I love what I do, this is a calling for me and it takes great strength to do this job well. It turns out that I take my kids to many places and activities throughout the week and at one of these activities there are plenty of parents which I have become acquainted with. One of these parents is the person I am referring to here. We were both sitting in the waiting room when she told me she wanted to ask me a question. Before she asked the question she proceeded to tell me she was pregnant with twins due next summer, how she had had a great Mexican nanny in the past and how she prefers her nanny to only speak Spanish to her children of which she has three already without the two on the way. I am already approaching the uncomfortable stage by the inflection in her tone when she says Mexican as if it were a disease. This Mexican woman seems to be good enough to raise her children yet she seems to think her beneath her somehow.
I decide to give her the benefit of the doubt and continue the conversation. She continues by telling me she wants this woman to return to work for her and in the same breath tells me this lady is undocumented, that she had returned to Mexico. She told me, and here is the whopper, " she returned to Mexico because she got pregnant, you know those Mexicans." I was dumbfounded. Are Mexicans not allowed to have children or go back to their country? Or is it that in your self righteous state you believe this woman has ruined your plans for her to raise your brats while you galavant around pretending to be a mother. So I told her " oh, she left to raise her own child because she got pregnant? Like you?" I don't think that sat to well with her. The fact that she was a minority herself trying to put another minority down really chapped my ass. How dare you bespeak another woman trying to do for herself because she won't come here to be your servant! How about you close your fucking legs or better yet raise your hellions yourself?

I have seen it all a racist puerto Rican from jersey, wanting a Mexican undocumented woman to raise her five kids for her, speak only Spanish to them and risk her life crossing the border because shes just that special. I had two words for her good luck. If that woman even has a clue as to what this woman is like she will never return. I am hoping so anyways. It is sad really what people think is ok. I am taken aback every time I experience racism but this took me to places I've not been yet.
Racism is NOT dead. If anything it's spreading like the disease it is. I continue to be amazed at the ignorance but I unlike many I won't brush it under the rug. I will confront every ignorant soul I come across and weather they listen or not I will state my case that they may know for certain that we are not alike. Injustice and ignorance has no home here and I will make sure you know this.

Resolutions....

Should we have all had resolutions this year? Do you honestly in your heart of hearts believe they make a difference in your life or is it what's behind the resolution, the actual resolve to make it happen. As I sit here by my window I see three men arguing almost ready to fight about some nonsense and I wonder it that's anywhere how they intended to begin their new year. Was there a resolution to be more reasonable? Did it quickly devolve with the anger and animosity they seem to be under now? Seems to me that's the way all resolutions fade. When we are faced with the obstacle we intend to overcome head on our resolve wavers. The promises become shaky. All the up and down swearing we did as the new year approached went from set and certain to deluded and confused. Perhaps it's best to leave the resolutions aside and just resolve to accept your human frailty. The fact that you will continue to make mistakes and the simple wish that at the time you are to make a decision, you choose wisely. Perhaps the resolution should be to simply be a better version of you and accept that as a person all we can resolve is our own inadequacies. Happy New Year!