Quote Me....

" Life is a journey not a destination"

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The value of Love & Friendship....

                            It has come home to me today the thought of the value which love and frendship merit. I have learned the truth of both during these past weeks of being ill. Of course we never trully know everything I doubt we ever do but we do become more knowledgeable during the most difficult of our experiences, and so i have. I am lucky. I have a large loving family and i have friends that though are few are always there when times get tough. I want to take this moment and this blog to thank all of them. My children, mother, brothers, cousins, friends and  my very bestest  friend. I love you all and I thank you for walking with me through this difficult path. You are all my strength and my will to live and fight resides in you all.


The Dialysis girl....

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

The Chair

Here I am dialyzing again. So how is the world out there? I assume as it is when you have any illness be it cancer, diabetes or aids. It moves and sways, travels and breaths. And it doesn't stop because of me or anyone of us in any dilemma. And still I sit here not with any feeling of pity for me that is not what this is about. There is something I'm here to learn though I have no clarity into it now. I will learn it. My blood gets renewed here. They cleans me here. And were it not so I might not be here. Blessings abound. I am lucky to be born at this age for 30 years ago the possibility of my mechanical kidney might not exist and neither might my life.

We Must look at the Blessings...

- BlooWriter

Location:E Front St,Red Bank,United States

Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Patch...dealing with Dialysis.....

                             I must say I haven't blogged for a few out of lazyness and life. things have been happening that everyone who loves me and most who know me have had a first row seat into. The truth is i have been pretty frightened for the past few weeks about where i am and where i am going and though my journal has witnessed much of my fear, my blog hasn't. So...

1. I recently found out i have kidney desease
2. I'm trying to find out what disabled really means cause as far as the world is concerned that's what i now am.
3. I'm still trying to be the backbone of my family, the hardass mom who can carry the world alone and it's getting old.
4. I am tring to get used to being hooked up to a machine 3 days a week.

So those are just a few of the drama induced issues i am trying to deal with right now. It is hard yes, and alone even harder though i am circled by people who really love me and i am forever grateful. Still....

The patch that covers my dialysis hook up on my right breast always reminds me of the fight i must now battle. I have been afraid but never enough to give up. I am here to stay and it's not solely out of faith but belief. I have come here for a purpose.... tis not achieved yet, ask me again in 40 years.

Death can not take you until you give it permission
It's wait unless God puts his foot down
is long with me
I will look at you carefully
as you will no doubt look at me
And still
I will STAND.....