This blog is mostly about my poetry but it also includes my rants and raves,life issues and so on hence it's title. My life as everyone elses is a complicated hodge podge of circumstances and life issues. I am a woman, a mother and a poet/writer trying to find my way creature of life, so it is all relative and crazy. I am honored that you have found a way into my crazy life. You are here...WELCOME TO BLOOVILLE!!
Quote Me....
" Life is a journey not a destination"
Friday, November 27, 2009
One Breath....by BlooWriter
Water, water, water
All I want is water….and you
I know there could be
Enough water to quench my thirst
But will there ever be enough of you
You…
Are to me
What the world doesn’t see
See him alter with nothing
But love
Once
Careless with laughter
Joy unfettered
Just before shade covered his face
With the worry
Of being denied his love
With false acceptance
And monotony
He fell from me
To deny me what is mine
And do I still love you?
How can I desist
When I never said naught but yes
See her awaken with ..night
Loneliness…
In her eyes
When love has pressed her breath
Clear off her chest
Breathless….
Breathe out ….so I
can breathe you in.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
She said her name was Elizabeth....her side...
What am I doing here? I thought as I stood talking to Buzz who had invited me here to this boring ass party. Oh I remember now I’m here because Crystal is my family and some of our people were here from DR plus I just needed to get out of the house for at least a little bit. It had been ages since I have been on a date much less a party and she swore up and down there would be some interesting men here. However this party was not proving to be very exiting and my date Buzz even less. I woke restless this morning, a little stressed. It has been a while since I have made love or had a man close worthy of loving. I wanted to masturbate when I woke from my nap to cut off the edge but the fucking batteries were dead plus what I ache for is not battery operated. I need skin, arms, legs, kisses. That sweet penetration after desperate love that builds like a vivid flame. That, this evening was not to be so a shower it was, plus Buzz would be here soon to pick me up in about an hour or so. I better get to it. Getting up nude as I always slept I turned on the shower thinking of what I would really like to be doing right now instead of this. I took the scrubber added some scented wash. Washing my breasts smoothly my skin reacted, god it had been a while, “snap out of it”! it’s not like you gona get any tonight and I’ll be damned if Buzz gets ass from me.
I had laid out a lovely outfit for the party for my motto is if you weren’t getting any at least you should look pretty. Light blue compliments my skin so that was the color for this night. Dressing carefully, the dress was close to the skin, soft, jewelry to match. It was warm tonight, I love this island it always looked so beautiful and the breeze was perfect, a night for real love. There was something in the air. A lovely scent permeates everything here.The door bell stung me out of my day dreams but I was ready to go anyhow. I opened the door with bag in hand I didn’t want Buzz getting any ideas about coming in to my sacred place. He looked at me with hunger in his eyes, a little repulsive really. “ready?” I said. I closed the door behind me and here I am now bored to death with Buzz talking about nonsense is his basic monotone making me want to gag. I smiled to stop the scream which wanted to make me run from this fool.
The room was large and lovely and I stood by the corner so I had a full view of the space.The lights were perfect and the ambiance was right however I was about to make my way to Crystal to say I was leaving when I felt it, a warmth rushing thru me as the first kiss from the sun in the early morning, just before the day gets to hot to bear. My skin reacted immediately coming to life though I had no idea why. I looked directly in front of me across the room to find the most intense pair of molases colored eyes I had ever seen boring thru me. Eyes that instantly made you weak, gave u palpitations and made your heart smile. The smile on my face must have been noticed for Buzz got immediately shifty as the man with the eyes was coming toward me with a smile on his face as bright as the sun. I had no idea who this man was, his name, nothing but he beckoned me with such intensity all I wanted to do was to go with him and get to know him, my body and soul said they already did.
He came close and smiling broadly asked if I didn’t remember him. His eyes said go with this, play this game with me, and I did laughing at his warmth and sweetness more than anything. His name was Shawn Brewster he said hmm Shawn…I could imagine whispering his name at night, looking into those eyes for hours. “Oh yes! Shawn, how have you been it’s been a while! How’s it going?” He hugged me close and as his arms wrapped around me his warmth enveloped me and shut down the world. He felt perfect in my arms molding into my curves, so sweet. The perfect fit...is this what IT feels like? I didn’t notice I had his hand as I excused myself from Buzz and walked with Shawn to the garden. All I knew was that I needed to talk to him to listen to that sweet sexy accent and look into those bright eyes which seemed to hold my soul within them. He spoke quietly but we laughed and laughed. His smile was sweet, enticing and he took every chance as we conversed to touch my face lightly taking care to linger on my eyes with every touch and word. I had never been more giddy or more overjoyed to be at a family party ever. If a man could be beautiful, he was.
He noticed first, the crowd getting thin, Buzz standing alone. It was time, we had to leave. “I’d like for us to meet again sometime, I’d like that a lot” I said. He smiled at me with his eyes as mine traveled his face, his lips. I needed to imprint him in my mind for I would be making love to him in my dreams tonight. And then he leaned in touching his lips to mine so softly you would think it were a whisper, this is what heaven is jealous of, this kiss, this moment, now. Time stoped.
We stared at each other for a few more minutes, we knew, somehow we knew this was it. Explinations were moot. The heart is all we knew.
“well Shawn, I have to go…regetfully” “ok, he said”with the same regret in his voice and as I turned to walk away he rushed toward me and asked
“hey, what’s your name?” I smiled in reaction to his sweet innocent look, those eyes, damn. I responded, “ My name is Elizabeth.”
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
The Revival....By: BlooWriter
When you left me
Ripped apart
You must not
See blood
For there to be wounds
They shed the same
Poison and fear
death by words
Kills slow
I’d rather you twist the knife
See me gasp
Give up half the soul I carry
so you may carry me completely
If you survive
Something of the other
Does too
And you can finally embrace me
Without fear
The love never left
As you said it
Repeated it
Again
And you pummeled me with sweet affection
As you tore at my soul
Once more
Before the waves came
when the ocean envied
The salt
I shed
Yet there are not enough tears
To mourn this death
And you return
To revive my soul
You pick up each piece
With such tenderness and ease
As I watch you
put me back together
As if you never took me apart
And I let you
For I have begged for it
In a thousand dreams
This revival
Of you
And
Me
Friday, November 20, 2009
She said Her name was Elizabeth...a story written for me..
This Story was written for me by my best friend. A story we wrote together, this is his part, mine is next...enjoy!! I did.
“She said her name was Elizabeth” By: S.B.
PART ONE
Should I wear this? I don’t want to be overly casual but I don’t want to be over dressed. I guess I was nervous, I have not been out in months and I have not been with a woman in about the same amount of time. Lisa migrated to America. I was not part of her plans. “Fuck her” I said, but that was months ago and the sore pain in my cock reminded me. As I changed my shirt for the third time I think “I wont know anyone at this fucking party” maybe I should just stay home and watch some late night HBO show and jack off like last Friday, “I got my cum to shoot all the way to my neck that time” but I promised Nigel I would pick him up on my way. “Damn”.
I pull up to Nigel’s gate and blow the horn. He pops his head through a window “Give me a few minutes” he says. I lean back into the seat “This fucker is always late” five minutes pass, the pressures of the past few months force me to instinctively reach for my cock. I cup my balls and juggle them, my hands made cold by the air conditioning, making my cock swell fast “I am getting to good at this shit” I think to myself. I see Nigel finally coming out and I hurriedly get my cock back in my pants. “Its about fucking time man I almost left your ass.” “Be cool man, he said Crystals party will be worth the wait, she has family coming in from the Dominican Republic, you might get lucky.
As much as I would love to cum in a pussy for a change I have been waiting for more, not just anyone, someone special, if I could ever be so lucky. We get there and I think ok, let’s do this and get the fuck out. Nigel enters first, well pushes pass me, at least someone’s excited about this fucking party. As I enter my fears are realized, it’s the typical social party, thirty odd people, scattered with their wine glasses in hand and some boring ass fucking crappy music playing. Maybe no one saw me and I could turn and leave. Then some fucker calls me with an exaggerated accent “Shawn! Shawn! Over here”. It was Nigel’s metro sexual friend Dwayne, extremely full of himself. “Pussy ass” I smile falsely and walk casually towards them. That’s when I saw her.
BEAUTIFUL…she just stood there, eyes bright, a smile that makes YOU smile, smooth silky skin (red woman), and cropped hair. My God! Who is she? She was talking to some oversized monster of a guy and she was this tiny little beauty. She wore this sleeveless thing, dress maybe…light blue pattern with a matching necklace. I could feel my heart rate change; it’s like in the movies where the guy gets stupid at the sight of the leading lady.I must have been moving in slow motion, I made it across to Cock sucking Dwayne, I can’t remember a fucking word he said but he was laughing and gesturing who the fuck cares. I was focused on one thing. The Red Woman across the room. By now she must have caught me looking at her maybe six times but each time she had this warm smile…and each smile made me feel like I was 9 years old again, eating ice cream with my friends…”ok ok well something like that”. I could not possibly just walk up to her and start talking, what if the hulk next to her was her boy friend or something he’d kick my ass for sure…Think you idiot!
One thing I noticed, she seemed bored, he was talking and she just nodded and what not, that’s not right, well for him anyway. He must be one of those boring dudes. I decided to do it, just walk up and do something. As I made my way across I was in panic, did you ever hear your own heart beat? hahahaha well I could hear mine, I was talking to myself in my mind still trying to figure out what to say, I walked right up to her and in an excited and, well to me gayish voice I said.“Heyyyyyy how are you…it’s been what 12 years????. You look the same”. I was smiling like a silly ass salesman. And she had this confused look, BUT she was smiling too, I think she understood what I was trying to do. The duffus next to her pulled in closer. “You don’t remember me do you? It’s Shawn! Shawn Brewster. I could have shot someone with excitement when she said “OHHH SHAWN…hhahah how are you, sorry for not recognizing you” “wow”. I did a small eye thing so she could give me the heads up on big foot, she picked up fast….”This is my friend Buzz Killington, he was sweet enough to accompany me tonight.
I was doing every silly dance known to man in my head, he was not a boyfriend just a date, and a suckish one at that. I embraced her “The…I have not seen you in ages hug”. But with that hug I felt her soul; I could actually feel, like.. some kind of thing, like a power, an electric charge I don’t know and her smell, if Incredibly Beautiful had a smell she’d be that smell. She must have felt it too, because she did not let go of my hand. She simply asked Killington to be excused and lead me to the garden to the back.It was quiet there, we sat on a concrete bench out on the lawn facing the crowed inside, she was still holding my hand. She was smiling broadly; I asked “what are u smiling at”. She said “What we just did silly, don’t you find it funny?” But I was just to excited to even think. We sat there talking for at least an hour as though we really were old friends, like we knew each other even in another life. And through it all she never let go of my hand, it felt right, perfect.
We stopped looking at each other long enough to notice the crowd getting very small, ohh and Killington standing alone looking pissed. “I’d like for us to meet again sometime”. She said she’d like that a lot. After a few awkward smiles I leaned in a kissed her, her lips were so soft… like ……idn soft served ice cream and she smelt sooooo good. I didn’t want her to leave. We stood up stared at each other again, like teenaged lovers and said goodbye. As she walked away I remembered something.
I ran up to her “hey what’s your name”.
She smiled and said.
“My name is Elizabeth"....
Thursday, November 19, 2009
The Performance....By: BlooWriter
I'm gonna do this!! I HAVE TO DO THIS!
The day began.
I began. Nervous. The day I would perform.
I had my words ready. My stomach i will not speak for.
There would be quite a few other performers that night and I was certain they would all be much better than me. More talented, inspired and definitely less worried.
But I had to do this, dispite the gitters in my gut, the indicision, the honest belief that I would choke. And so I cluttered my mind and hands with things to do and decided the day would play out as it would.
I helped with the venue, greetings, laughing with the fabulous women who were there as well to share their words, their life experiences.
It gave me Strength, hope and the will to make it fly.
As the ladies gathered and began expressing their fears I realized I was among sisters in my very same shoes.
nervous ones
fearful ones...
and I knew i was among family.
As I took the stage encourgement sprang from every corner of the room and I knew then
I CAN DO THIS..
And i did.
The Boy that Never Was....By: Bloowriter
Do you remember when you were in Jr. High. Do you remember that crush that you believed would turn your heart to mush by the pure sight of that which you believed to be your forever. That one person you would wake an hour early to make certain your hair was just right, your outfit perfect before you left for school in hopes that they would be the first person to see you in the morning. Oh how it brings me back..back to a time of now and laters, red hots and lemonheads. A time when one dollar would get you a bag of candy big enough to give your whole neighborhood cavities. Those are the times i find myself reminicing about today but in particular to the boy that never was.
His name was Gabriel and I swore at the time that he would be the ONE. The boy that would carry me from the horrors of my pre pubesant world and all its agonies. All I saw in my minds eye as I arived at school was sandy brown hair, big brown eyes and possibilities. The only thing I did not see in all of my meanderings thru wishville was the simple and most obvious fact. Gabriel did not like me "that way". To him I was one of his boys. The boy he would cut class with and read comics with in the privacy of his bedroom on 184 street where he lived with his mom. I was the chill with girl, the fun friend that you knew was a girl only because of the long fabulous hair and the feminine voice. The girl you were completely honest and open with because you could never imagine she was carrying a torch for you.
Yes he was the boy that never was but I learned so much from him. I learned that a girl could really be friends with a boy. That no matter how much he didn't like me that way he never refused to treat me with respect and give me an honored place in friendship. I learned forever after that boys were people too, with feelings and kindness to give in their own right. I learned that love comes in many colors.
The last time I saw Gabriel I was twenty and a mother with a boy of my own. We had both grown up for the most part but the memories of our friendship had not faded. We were still those two kids who hung out at his moms cutting class and eating junkfood making fools of ourselves. It reminded me that our childhoods never really fade, we carry them with us and when they are good they improve us as the boy that never was, did me.
I am Bloo
" I Am Bloo"
I am Bloo
It was so
from the first time
the word uttered from you
You found Me
within a simple word
created me from love and color
discovered my spirit
hidden within
Bold
Loving
Outstanding
Order
and decreased my shame
I am Bloo
without sorrow
pain or grief
You've given me my name
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)