Thursday, November 19, 2009
The Boy that Never Was....By: Bloowriter
Do you remember when you were in Jr. High. Do you remember that crush that you believed would turn your heart to mush by the pure sight of that which you believed to be your forever. That one person you would wake an hour early to make certain your hair was just right, your outfit perfect before you left for school in hopes that they would be the first person to see you in the morning. Oh how it brings me back..back to a time of now and laters, red hots and lemonheads. A time when one dollar would get you a bag of candy big enough to give your whole neighborhood cavities. Those are the times i find myself reminicing about today but in particular to the boy that never was.
His name was Gabriel and I swore at the time that he would be the ONE. The boy that would carry me from the horrors of my pre pubesant world and all its agonies. All I saw in my minds eye as I arived at school was sandy brown hair, big brown eyes and possibilities. The only thing I did not see in all of my meanderings thru wishville was the simple and most obvious fact. Gabriel did not like me "that way". To him I was one of his boys. The boy he would cut class with and read comics with in the privacy of his bedroom on 184 street where he lived with his mom. I was the chill with girl, the fun friend that you knew was a girl only because of the long fabulous hair and the feminine voice. The girl you were completely honest and open with because you could never imagine she was carrying a torch for you.
Yes he was the boy that never was but I learned so much from him. I learned that a girl could really be friends with a boy. That no matter how much he didn't like me that way he never refused to treat me with respect and give me an honored place in friendship. I learned forever after that boys were people too, with feelings and kindness to give in their own right. I learned that love comes in many colors.
The last time I saw Gabriel I was twenty and a mother with a boy of my own. We had both grown up for the most part but the memories of our friendship had not faded. We were still those two kids who hung out at his moms cutting class and eating junkfood making fools of ourselves. It reminded me that our childhoods never really fade, we carry them with us and when they are good they improve us as the boy that never was, did me.