SOMEONE...

I want someone to know me
but not in the sense everyone thinks they do

who gives a fuck what my favorite color is

what I like to do on sunny days

where I like to spend it

or with who

what size pants I wear

do I like t-shirts or dresses

as if these were grave confessions



I want someone who knows my blood

the way it runs

in which direction my guts lay

where my bones bend

from the inside out and vice versa

someone who can see thru my pretence and the veil of my existence

the persistence to make them see something that is not there

hell, even the reasons for the crabbiness during my period



I want someone who can spell my name backwards and forwards

and actually love the sound of it on the days when I’m a real asshole to them and the world

I want someone who is unafraid to travel to the pits of my psyche

and help me grow flowers on the dead soil of my mind

I want someone who can scream at me in lyrics when I’m wrong

so I can turn it into a country song

later on



I want someone who will bathe my feet as if Jesus were watching in approval from the next room

remembering how loving it felt when he had it done to him

I want someone who will be quiet thru my noise

who’s noise can blend with mine and when necessary overcome it

I want someone who knows the cracks in my soul

and becomes the mortar to make them less so



someone who knows the sway of my crooked spine from bearing the seed that may not be his

kissing it anyways with reverence

who travels the dark circles of my sleepless eyes and sees pools of beauty and bliss

someone who caresses my imperfections as if the word had been made for the most beautiful parts of a woman’s body



I want someone who will carve the happiness out of me

as Michelangelo did his David

I want someone to know me

like God knows his son and the book he inspired

the one who will know tears are coming

and will shower me with his own so I don’t realize I’m shedding mine



I want someone who will carry me thru the puddles of life

so that I may lay my coat down

that his feet may not know the cold rain

who lays the palms of his hands not on my shoulders

but my lower back

that he may push me forward when I am most resistant



I want someone who will ingest my salty jokes as if they were made of candy

repeating them to others as a stenograph in a trial

someone who will dance with me when the music is over and creates sounds to keep us bound

someone who believes in me as if I were he and had no choice but to see us as one entity

the one who will say I love you with his hands because to say the words always seem scattered and small without his touch to compliment it



that is what I want for me

I will be the same

for the beloved someone who really sees me