A word on Jealousy

At times I find that my mind twirls endlessly as if it's not my own. So many things make me tick and I am at times confused at my reactions to things. I am a jealous person, not to be confused with envious, that I am not. I don't covet anyone's anything that I know of. Not money, love or possessions for I'm of the thought that everyone should have equal parts of all of it. Still I'm jealous of issues involving love and as I am one to analyze everything, this is no different. In truth I find it hard for me to consider this. I find this issue to be for insecure people and I find myself quite confident on most occasions and situations so this is hard. It all boils down to this, when it comes to relationships with a man my feet are seldom well planted. I work hard at my relationships yet it seems I'm always waiting for the left shoe to drop. Always waiting for him to do me wrong, or always waiting for the "aha!" I caught you with the hoe moment. I know all the reasons why. I was cheated on, lied to, played with etc. We all often know the drama behind the illusion. What I ask of myself here is how do you fix it? How do you let go of past pain and cross the threshold to new belief? How do you believe in a person who has never done you wrong and do you take that faith-filled chance with both eyes open when you dive in. How do you kill the sceptic always invading your inner orb with poisonous influence, always with that small sliver of past heart puncture wounds reminding you that you have failed at this before. How do you give yourself over to another expecting the respect no one has ever shown you before? The truth is I don't know. I sway and I quake at any given moment. I become paralytic with fear at other moments and sometimes I become the fuck it all cynic. Yet again sometimes great possibility takes over and the world is sunshine and rainbows. So I guess my answer is simple. One day at a time, with a grain of salt and of course, a little faith but keep moving. Trust your gut, do your best and most of all on your way to a new love, leave your baggage at the door on your way in.


- BlooWriter

I....

I write
Across the page I slither
A broken arrow
Poking holes a deep desperation
To be heard
In the silence

I read
aloud
Every experience becomes
My own
You live through me
I survive in your tortured sentence
Your pain plagued words

I dream
Erratic emotions like
Wave torn oceans
Monsoons In the dark
Waiting
For the peace of the dawn

I am
Waiting
Dreaming
Writing
Reading
On the way
To living.


- BlooWriter

Joys of journaling

Every day I journal. Some call it mixed media. I call it me, my view of my world at any given day.

- BlooWriter

Traveler

I am a landscape
an escapade for your inevitable talents
You take my valleys and convert them into
Mountain ranges with your
Exquisite way of molding those lips, fingers
Bliss around me
Whispers and incantations
Memory making masterbation
Your thoughts in my head, heat
In our bed
Heaven expressed
Unmasked in fevered sighs
of pleasure
Our evolution of love


- BlooWriter

There it Is

There it is
Where she put it last beside your heart
And you must believe
That she cares
for every other thought would be heresy
And you're a faithful man when you're not
Thinking of the woman you really want
To be with on those lonely nights when
Just ok won't satisfy
The longing for her pulls you
Fish on a hook
Her bait is so good
Satiated and never quite full
Of the mornings you'll never wake without her
Inside
Your mind
In hindsight you should have said yes
When she asked for forever


- BlooWriter

You 7/30

Velvet thunder



Your presence



Clutching at my heart



As feelings course through me



numerous as pomegranate seeds



Los Rodriguez



Have never been able to deflect the ingratiating hand



Of the right man



As I can never say no to you



You overwhelm me



Como me amas



Carajo! Con tanto fuego



As if it were hate trapped in a criminal mind



King me!!

Solid 6/30

Standing there
the glare on his face
Omnipotent
Drawn out and broken from silken marble
An angel without wings
The battle is forced upon him